Just came back from novice today....sigh,i couldnt take single pin spares,yes,& everytime u see your ball miss that pin....u could just feel a sharp pain in your heart,& after that...i could feel myself shivering...its a super scary feeling,cause it just happens so sudden...sigh! overall avg 165 =(...



-random-I just realised something also,maybe its hard to believe,but...i feel like as if i have a split personality,cause,1 min...i can be hyper like siao...the next....i'm super emo....i duno why,sometimes i feel i just cant control my emotions...gosh! whats happening?




Sometimes my thoughts can go really random,for example,i can just randomly think where life will lead me? etc...If i dun study hard...well i'm very clear of the consequences...yes...sigh...or maybe i'm thinking wayyyyy too much...=(



anyway cant blog anymore,gtg there's church service tml =)

TODAY was the premier of HSM 3!! so we went to cineleisure to watch...=) watched the 4.15pm show,& it was really nice...except that the plot was abit blur..but overa,l the songs are great! =),OH YES & there's one kissing scene (troy & gabriella).....& it was the longest one so far out of all the movies...yeap...i cant tahan lah...hahaha...felt super uncomfortable...




XD....after the movie,we walked around orchard before we went off...yep...thats basically my day......




i admit i'm lazy to blog from morning all the way to night...T_T

Today. I stared out at the window when we were on our way to OCC,i could not help but to think of the memories back in sec 1,as the cab drove past whitley sec..i was reminded of the times & memories i had in sec 1,the carefree life,the bonded class spirit,where friendship was not based on popularity or status....& i started to miss those moments...


I was thinking,why didnt i treasure those moments when i had the chance,its true u see,you will only truely treasure something after it has disappeared,unfortunately,by then its too late...



Earlier in the afternoon,we sang a birthday song for celine. An happy occasion indeed. i was happy for her =),happy 15th birthday celine! hope u enjoyed the cake =)



As we were gathered together as a team,i just dont feel the bonding spirit,its only on the outside,outward appearance,there's no serious team spirit,even if there is...i dont feel that its genuine...i just cant feel it...i'm left out...




anyway,gratz to yijing for becoming the vice capt of the team =)

There's this empty feeling inside my heart,recently i've been feeling kinda down,& i just dont know why...


there's this heavyness in my heart,though exams are over,i still dun feel the "freedom",maybe...maybe cause Os are next year! & i need to buck up,i guess...its a warning sign from God

=(....

Today was rather a busy day for me,i woke up early today & went to church =DD,went to adult service today =),& the topic was on God's grace...its like,in everything u achieve, its by God's grace! =) actually there's much more to that,but i'm just giving a overview...=) & today also happen to be the second part of the "no limits" series =) another 2 weeks x)



Well after that i came back home,as my squad for tonight's inter constituency bowling tournament was at 7.30pm...so i used the com for a while before my mum & i left the house,=) took no 5. all the way to tiong bahru & then hop onto a 195 to safra mt faber..=)



Reached there rather early,saw many ppl there,& its really alot,cause the 4pm squad was still on..



Soon i saw vincent,was kinda shocked that he was under my CC too,haha lol...then went to the lanes to warm-up...started off with a 195 & ended off with a 156,it was a total of 3 games only and i bowled 131 for the 2nd...in the end we got 1st because thanks to vincent! haha he bowled super well 22+ avg,yepp...




When i went home,i was doing some self-reflection...



especially the 2nd game,my whole game was full of 9 pins,but i JUST JUST JUST couldnt take that spare,its that kind of feeling,whereby u JUST JUST cant bowl,its so disappointing,=(,i really felt super lousy then,because this thing is not an individual event,its a team event,so your scores will affect the whole team's total pinfall,& every game really counts! sry not every game,its every PIN! when i couldnt take my spare i could feel fear gripping me,its just so hard to explain,u need to have first hand experience...



but all i can just say is that its a very lousy feeling u r having,confidence all gone that kind of feeling,sigh... but Thank God Vincent bowled well sia,at least...we got into the finals...




& u knw...guess what,out of this 3 games,i only had 4 STRIKES...yes! 4 strikes in 3 games! No matter how hard i bowled,where i shift here and there,its always 1 pin left...2 pins left.....etc...whereas when i see all the other ppl bowl...woah strike like no one's business....



Actually when i went there i saw some NY ppl,saw the way they bowled....and the pins fall so easily! their basics are rock strong,their release is smooth,their stepping is ideal,their sparing is accurate,their rev is so nice... i hate to admit this oh Lord(i know its wrong),but....i do feel envious of them,i admire them for their confidence....their release,their stepping,their rev,their scores especially...their mental,so how i asked myself....how do u be THAT kind of bowler? i know the solution,trust God & work hard(seriously...i hate to admit it,its easy to accept christ,but tough to follow in his ways)



I really feel so sad with myself,i admit i get impatient very easily...sigh.....
just now when i was bowling,i kept missing simple spares too,like pin 5 etc...i cant keep myself properly balanced,my timing is way off,my release kept changing,Oh God please help me! =(



Nowadays each time i bowl i feel a mixture of feelings in my heart, the feeling of fear,fear of failures,lack of confidence and many others,seriously i cant put it into words...its tough,not only for this,exams too,=(




i just hope for the best,cause by having faith,i know it'll see me through this tough period,even if it takes a really long time,just hang on to God & seriously everything would be fine =)i just know it.....i just know it...



till next time...............................














today's performance left me feeling very disappointed with myself,

HEY ITS BACK TO BLOGGING! hahaha =) its been so long since i last blogged,& and its before the exams...xD...



Anyway,now exams are over...=( but its a weird feeling, i dont feel that "freedom" kind of feeling i used to have,there's no freedom...like i'm still stuck...in the midst of exam..=( gosh...i'll make a promise to myself,i dont care...i'm gonna start mugging even after the exams are over...i really really want to make it to JC!! =(



Today was my last paper(AMATHS) & the last day for sec 4s to be in school... =(, sigh, i really feel sad...i'm gonna miss the sec 4s,especially abigail,alicia & nicolette! hahaha seriosly i'm gonna miss you guys! thanks so much for everything! for all the memories,liek national age group...B div...C div...everything..=),i'll treasure those memories & i'll never ever forget them =)hope they can come back to visit us xD